The Jeice Show
Captain Ginyu Annoys Us All
Episode Nine

(Backstage. Jeice, Sailor Mercury, and Zarbon walk in. Matt walks by.)
Jeice: Hey, Matt! How's it going?
Matt (Burter's voice): I wouldn't know, I'm Burter.
Jeice: Um… right.
Zarbon: That was different.
(Captain Ginyu walks by.)
Jeice: Hey, Captain! Ready for the show?
Ginyu (Washu's Voice): I'm Little Washu…
Jeice: … Yes you are.
Sailor Mercury: … We missed something...
(Cut to the Jeice Show's theme. This time it's obviously a takeoff of Saturday Night Live.)
Announcer: Taped days ago from Japan, it's the Jeice Show!
(Of course, in SNL fashion, we're treated to cuts around Japan.)
Starring; Jeice!
(Cut to Jeice, who is getting a margarita facial from some babe.)
Burter!
(Cut to Burter who is, what else? Taking bets, of course.)
Recoome!
(Recoome is eating a mile-long subway sandwich. He turns to face the camera with the hoagie still in his mouth. The sandwich hits the camera. Static.)
Little Washu!
(Washu is advertising her 'Exploding Toothbrush'… (Okay, that makes no sense. Hey! Multiple parentheses!)She makes the mistake of using it on herself. The toothbrush explodes and Washu is completely charred. She blinks.)
Ryoko!
(Ryoko is kicking a vending machine labeled 'Tenchi Muyo Merchandise!'. She ends up punching through the glass and walks away cuddling a Tenchi doll.)
Cui!
(Cui's being chased by a bunch of insane Calamari lovers.)
Dodoria!
(Dodoria's kicked out of an 'All you can eat' restaurant. An 'Out of Business' sign is placed in the window.)
Nappa!
(Nappa's lying around, bored. Obviously he has no personality at all. But that's just my opinion.)
Matt!
(Matt's runs past the camera and goes off-screen. A moment later a huge mob of Teen Girls with 'Yama-Sama' signs charge after him.)
Raditz!
(Raditz is being carried around by a huge mob. He is the current hero of earth, after all.)
… Guldo…
(Guldo has an up-close shot, and I mean up-close. He smirks and then the camera gets a little too close and it hits him. Static.)
Mimete…
(Mimete is whacking a few perverts with her huge-ass stick.)
Android 18…
(18 is bowling with Kuririn. She mistakes the poor midget's head as the bowling ball and sends him flying into the pins.)
Sailor…. Mercury….. HOW MANY FREAKING CAST MEMBERS ARE THERE?
(Ami's typing something on her computer. Serena walks in, and tries to hog the camera. Ami sends Serena flying with a well-placed mallet.)
Are there any more? … Oh…. Yeah… Zarbon, too…
(Zarbon's swimming in yen.)
The Jeice Show recuperating alchoholic Jug Band…
(Cut to a bunch of hicks.)
Musical Guest; Some random nutso with a kazoo. And featuring… Captain Ginyu. Now, here's your host, Jeice!
(Cut back to the set. Jeice and Burter are in their normal places.)
Jeice: Hello and welcome to The Jeice Show: Sponsored by the Happy Valley Nut House! If you check in and mention The Jeice Show being the reason you're committed, you get a cell with padding! Today we have Captain Ginyu on the show! He's still getting ready, so we'll be right back, okay? … Okay?
(The crowd hesitantly cheers. Jeice and Burter walk off-stage. Cut backstage. Ryoko is strangling Cui.)
Ryoko: LISTEN UP, GINYU, YOU ARE GOING TO FIX THIS, AND FIX IT NOW!
Cui (Captain Ginyu): You… can.'t… make…. me… ACK! Can't… breathe… Fine… I… CHANGE NOW!
Ryoko: Oh, crap…
(Both switch bodies and stuff.)
Cui (Ryoko): Damn you.
(The rest of the cast runs after Cui.)
Cui (Ryoko): DAMMIT!
(Cui runs off. Android 18 stops.)
18: Hey, Ryoko, what the hell happened?
Ryoko (Captain Ginyu): ... He was gonna switch bodies with me!
18: Okay…
(Cut to GinyuBrick.)
GinyuBrick: … This isn't funny, is it? (Sighs.) I'm sorry about this, folks. The next episode will be great, I swear.
(The cast runs by the hapless author.)
GinyuBrick: … Save me.
(GinyuBrick walks back to the computer and starts writing again. Cut to Jeice and Burter.)
Jeice: Who was that guy?
Burter: Some pathetic loser.
('Captain Ginyu' walks by.)
Jeice: Hey! Captain! You're on!
Ginyu (Washu, still.): I AM LITTLE WASHU! CAPTAIN GINYU KEEPS CHANGING BODIES!
Jeice: … Well, the audience is getting ticked off. Just try to act like Ginyu or something.
Ginyu (Washu): Hi, I'm Captain Ginyu, the pathetic purple wuss who does incredibly revealing poses!
(Jeice and Burter both glare at Washu/Ginyu.)
Ginshu (New nickname, cause I'm tired of writing "(Washu.)" Hey! I did that multiple thing again! Oh, yeah… the dialogue.): … Well, he does.
(Jeice sighs and drags Ginshu out on stage. The audience claps a little bit.)
Jeice: Yeah, we're finally back. Well, with us today is Captain Ginyu…
Ginshu: …. Um, hi.
Jeice: Yeah, well, Captain, what have you been doing recently?
Ginshu: Um… Well… I've been taping a workout video.
Jeice: (Raises an eyebrow.) Oh, really? Tell us more!
Ginshu: It's called…. Um…. "Tae Bo and Posing: The missing link!"
Jeice: Well, that's very… different. Could you give us a sample?
(Just then, Mimete runs in.)
Mimete: Hey, Jeice, we got Captain Ginyu!
Jeice: (Has a grin on his face, masking his annoyance.) Oh… But Captain Ginyu is up here….
Mimete: (Notices Ginshu for the first time. She slaps her forehead) Oh. Right. I'll just go now…
(Mimete runs offstage, followed by Ginshu. Jeice sighs.)
Jeice: We'll be right back… maybe.
(Jeice runs off, and Burter is left to entertain the crowd. Cut to backstage. The rest of the cast have ganged up on a helpless Captain Ginyu, in Matt's body.)
Cui (Ryoko): HAH! Now we've got you! You're going to stop this lunacy right now!
Matt (Ginyu): Oh, yeah? Why?
(GinyuBrick walks by.)
GinyuBrick: Because I can't pull off another page of it.
Matt (Ginyu): Oh.
Dodoria (Recoome): And we want our bodies back… or something.
Matt (Ginyu): Fine, whatever.
(Now I'll skip the whole sequence. It would take too long, and I'm lazy. Finally everybody is in their own body.)
Ginyu: There. Are you happy?
All: Yes.
Ginyu: Fine, then.
(Ginyu walks off.)
Jeice: So….
Washu: The episode is over.
Cui: Yep.
Sailor Mercury: Hey, Jeice, you never finished the interview…
Jeice: And Burter's been hosting…
(Cut back onstage. Burter has a LOT of money and clothing. The audience are clad in barrels.)
Burter: Come on, one more bet?
Audience: NO!
(Fade out.)

GinyuBrick's sanity was harmed in the making of this episode.

Next Ep: TJS' first season ends with a bang! It's "Behind the Scenes of the Jeice Show", written when I feel like it!